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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  August 24, 2015 11:00pm-11:32pm PDT

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captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome. my guests tonight are one william o'reilly. tonight is our pant patented whatever it is we do. it will be like thanksgiving with two uncles who didn't really show up. with less than two weeks before election day, america, that's us. has resigned it sell through going to the motions of another midterm campaign. and foremost among those motions, debates. a chance for candidates to present and defend their ideas through reasoned articulate
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discourse. i'm just kidding. candidates will confirm and come back hoping panelists will have a oops moment. you can form a cogent argument. [laughter] or you can stand there quietly and wait for your opponents [bleep] to slip out of his pants. [laughter] as a matter of fact, if4 not for some poorly constructed pantalooms slavery may never have evolved. paint lincoln. [laughter] the debates are the public of tonight's 1240 just try not to say something stupid for 90 minutes. [bleep] what's interesting about these midterm debates is republicans and democrats are finally finding some common ground. >> i do not agree with president obama on his energy policy. >> i have my disagreements with the president. >> when you vote with the president 96% of the time, you represent the president's policy. >> i disagree with the president. >> rubber stamp for barack
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obama i stood you for the president. >> barack obama will be down as the worst president. >> jon: you see. it's common enemy whether it's the servants or the self yes or the person we elect to run us. [laughter] in fact ... [laughter] many republican candidates have sought to show that their democratic opponents were in fact loving obama. in fact, married tocr own and taken his name as the hyphenate. >> this obama isn't our economy. >> jon: yes, yes. we obama-aiken. the obama-aiken economy, which has been struggling dough to stag informant wages, loss of
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manufacturing base and being a little pitchy, doll. a little pitchy. of course not all democrats are running from obama due to his unpopular policy. democratic senate candidate from kentucky alison lundergan grimes is running. >> why do you not want to give an answer whether you're voting for president obama. >> there's no ruluctancy. this is a matter of principle. our constitution grants here in kentucky the constitutional rights for privacy at the ballot box. >> jon: my country tis of thee. no, you cannot see. [laughter] >> i would be voting as a right to privacy issue. that's why they give you those stickers. [laughter] grimes principle's stand is only undermined by her announcing lastvoted for health rea clinto.
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but that's different, health rea clinton is popular. look democrats aren't the only ones running from their party. republicans are retreating on the culture wars. the fact is i support over the counter contraception. you supported a constitutional amendment on marriage. do you still support that. >> when i was chairman of that committee it was the platform called for a federal marriage amendment and as chairman of the rnc, i stood for the platform. i'm talking now about my policies. >> jon: my policies. not the ones i was paid to pretend i supported or the ones i will be paid to support after i lose and become a lobbyist for any one of a number of multinational corporations. the point is give me money and i'll do what you say. gillespie, the beating starts now. look, this election's underlying theme is both parties are unpopular that their candidates are running on how much they hate themselves. of course the republicans have a
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slight advantage having spent the last six years breaking our gut. they now get to run on the anger resulting from said broken government. no where was this cynical ploy more evident than senate majority leader and shell bearing reptile mitch mcconnell. >> i will negotiate with the democrats when we can find a reasonable agreement. [laughter] >> jon: we could start with. nobody likes beingéx stung by a bee. [laughter] that's something we can work on. [laughter] of course despite mccgd>swearin. that is conciliatory [bleep] he said there's enough of us to
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march. as long as republicans refuse to follow obama's lead, americans will see partisan and conclude that obama has failed to produce change. looks like the tortoise went there. the only problem with the strategy is that sometimes have you to attack something like kentucky's kin he can website but he can't shut it down because it works. watch how he magically does it. >> the website can continue but in my view the best interest of the country would be achieved by pulling out obamacare root and branch. >> you would support the continuation of kinect. >> it's a state decision. >> why would you support it. >> that's fine, yes. i think it's fine to have a website. [laughter] >> jon: mitch mcconnell, he will keep the website but he
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will get rid of the program the website connects you to. [laughter] leave the website in some kind of internet ghost so people can flow through options they can no longer choose from. oh look, here's the plan that would have paid for your chemo treatments. oh, too bad it no longer exists. [laughter] so democrats can't run on anything they've done in the past six years, and republicans can't run on making sure nothinñ got done over the past six years. what does anyone have left to run on? ladies and gentlemen we've got an ebola outbreak, the growing threat of isis. >> isis should be destroyed. >> keep america safe from terrorism. get the border and secure it. >> keep our country safe from ebola. >> midterm 2014. we have nothing to fear but fear itself so we're going to go with fear. aaaahhhhhh.
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130 yards now... bill's got a very tough lie here... looks like we have some sort of sea monster in the water hazard here. i believe that's a "kraken", bruce. it looks like he's going to go with a nine iron. that may not be enough club... well he's definitely going to lose a stroke on this hole. if you're a golf commentator, you whisper. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. this golf course is electric...
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do it. how about now? i deserve this. you deserve to be fired. four flavors, four shapes, cheetos mix ups. scott dans♪aw was never afraid of a good dare. or even a double dare. a dare made him a legend at brunner valley high. and a pro basketball player for 10 seconds. scott danshaw, we have three more dares for you. mild chipotle, hot habanero, and fiery ghost pepper. taco bell's new $1 dare devil loaded grillers. try all three if you dare. [bong] are=2 >> jon: welcome back. [crowd cheering] in the current version of our war in the middle east, there are a few things that we know.
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one, isis represents an existential threat to our nation. two, the massive threat requires no sacrifices on anybody's part because three we can take care of the problem with our strikes and trustee allies. one little snag. the iraqi army has collapsed. there is no real iraqi army. that's weird. i remember the united states spending eight years and $25 billion training somebody's army over there. does iraq have a twin brother, perhaps. the all right, the iraqi army won't be there to reap the strategic advantage of our high tech boom-boom juice. who needs an army when you have an army of coalition friends. >> the coalition. [laughter] >> crashed into what now. >> crashed into the coalition. the president talks today of key allies he's counting on to fight isis but are they willing to
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pull their weight. >> president obama is there. to give a view atta boys a slp on the back. >> jon: what are they 14ñmhvqp) olds at a justin bieber concert. anybody going to step up. >> we're learning turkey is going to let the u.s. use its air bases as the base for the launching of their strikes against iraq and syria. >> jon: that's what i'm talking about. one country can count on turkey. good old otto, man. that a turk. i knew you guys could come three. really, one day later. >> turkey is denying reports that the u.s. can use its bases for air strikes. >> jon: can't use the bases. what the heck turkey, we're all about the base.
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we're all about the base. no rebels, we're all about the base. [laughter] i really lack at tremendous amount of rhythm, don't i? it's hard for me even to perform let alone how hard it must have been for you to watch. [laughter] i hope your children are already asleep. why wouldn't turkey, our nato ally let us use its air bases unless it's because they're using the bases themselves. the turkish war planes went on the attack monday. all right. i get it. they want the credit, it's all starting to make sense now. but instead of pounding isil positions in syria, the turks packed kurdish, fighting isilnk. [bleep] we've been bombing isis to help the kurds, our good friend turkey at the same time a few miles away is bombing kurds
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thereby helping isis. that was never in risk. what, why. >> because if pkk were shutting military outposts in that area, the kurds extremely upset about turkey not allowing kurds into somalia to help the group there fight isil back. >> it was a very brutal 30-year insurgency where kurds were trying to find and fighting the turkish army to create their own independent state. >> jon: i'm starting to think the british going in there and saying [bleep] it wasn't such a great idea. isn't there anyone out there who just wants to go in and fight some isis. >> members of the motorcycle gang from the netherlands have traveled to iraq to help kurds there fight isis. the buyingers went to iraq to quote exterminate the rodents of isis. >> we alwaysúc new there was gog
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to have to be some boots on the ground. i guess we can't be picky about what kind of boots. [laughter] >> jon: we'll be right back. hey, young people. after a long day of spontaneous road trips and breakdancing, well, you get hungry. that's why my $5 fill up has two pieces of original recipe chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, a biscuit, a cookie and a drink. (door squeaking) it's finger lickin' good.
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[cheers and applause] >> my guests tonight is the o'reilly factor on the fox news program channel. the new book is killing patton, the world war ii's audacious colonel. welcome back mr. william o'reilly. [applause] >> jon: have a seat. i'm glad given the ebola scare
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you're still shaking my hand. i think that's a positive step. i know you're very frightened and i want to tell you everything's going to be okay. there you go, baby. [laughter] how's it going. settle down. the book is called bill o'reilly killing patton. we'll just call this killing trees. [laughter] >> you didn't read it. >> jon: no, i did not read it. >> listen to me, here's all i want from you today. this is it, this is all we'vejá got to do in this conversation. just one, i have one simple goal. i want you to admit that there is such a thing as white privilege, that's all i want. >> jon: i knew you were going to say that. [cheers and applause] >> i just want you to say i am, i'm terribly terribly wrong on this. >> jon: okay, look, if there's white privilege then there has to be asian privilege. because asians make more money
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than whites. >> what? what kind of asian. >> asian americans. >> well no, it depends where they're from. >> they're from asia. they're asian americans. >> i understand that. >> they make more money, higher education, more affluent. so it's asian privilege, not white privilege. >> you're missing the point. it's not, that's, okay. here we go. the asian experience in america, the asian immigrant experience is very different from the black experience. so it's really, they're not equivalent. and either way, white people males set the system. so that's what privilege is, is that white people set the system that yes maybe asian immigrants wants immigration policies to be liberalized have done better over these past 30-40 years. but there's been a systemic, systemic systemized subjugation of the black community. would you not agree with that.
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>> sure. that was then. this is now. >> it was white privilege but it no longer exists. >> maybe you haven't figured out there is no more slavery, no more jim crow, all right. >> all right.a?hx 6cjú>> and thn the world. >> oh boy, here we go. >> is a black american. and the most powerful woman in the world, oprah winfrey is black, okay. being able to give people a free car does not make you the most powerful woman in the world. >> listen. you don't believe that the residual effect, i mean slavery and jim crow are dead. but the residual effect of that systemic subjugation exists today. absolutely exists but in a different way. >> it exists for every race, not at that expense. but you don't put forth, all right, this oh white privilege and if you fail that's why you nail, all right. america's now a place where if you work hard, get educated in an honest person, you can
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succeed. that'sy= what should be put out there. not all this other stuff. >> you are carrying more of the burden as a black person in this country than a white person in this country. >> from collectively yes but not individually. they don't stop -- >> even though they've done far more damage to the economy. [cheers and applause] >> listen to me. white people, white people do more drugs in this country than black people because black people make up a far higher majority -- . >> do you know why that is? >> yes. >> you do know why that is? why is that. >> because black people, it's about real estate to some extent. there has been a systemic subjugation through real estate. black people are ghettoized in this country. >> they have to live there. is that what you're telling me. >> you're getting to a bad place my friend. what made your culture. do you think your up bringing
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gave you values, ethic. >> yes, it did. >> you didn't grow up rich, right. >> no. >> you worked hard. >> right. >> you lived where? >> levitttown, new york. >> it gave you a nice stable, a cheap home. there's no down payments, incredible opportunity. all of those houses were subsidized. >> they weren't subsidized, it was for gi's and the gi's got a mortgage they could afford. >> look you're making a huge mistake. >> no. let me just ask you a question. did that up bringing leave a mark on you evengc today. >> of course. every upbriggs leaves a mark. >> could black people life in levit town. >> not at that time they could not. >> that my friend is called in the business white privilege okay. [crowd cheering] >> that was in 1950, all right. 1950. 1950. >> were there black people living there in 1960.
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>> in levittown, no. >> there weren't. >> how do you know. >> because i read up on that. >> you read up. you don't know that. >> i could find somebody. >> my point is even today, why would you like to live there. it's a nice place but -- >> it's a place that built values. what you don't understand is -- >> there are millions of black neighborhoods that built values. >> but imagine growing up knog you as an american fighting in world war ii you couldn't buy into that because you were black. you were not there. it was unfair. and that is white privilege. >> if you want to say it's white privilege -- >> i'm not saying -- >> fine. >> i'm saying it exists. >> fine. it's not happening here in contemporary society. >> yes, it is. >> no, it's not. let me repeat this and i'll do it slowly. >> all right. >> so even you can understand it. >> all right. >> if you work hard, if you get
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educated, if you're an honest person, you can make it in america. >> if you live in a neighborhood where people are poverty is endemic it's harder to work hard. it's harder to get even cake. >> hey, it was harder on me than it was for the white guy in garden city. it's all relative, yes. it's harder if you're a ghetto kid. yes, but can you do it? yes. >> yes, you can. so what i don't understand is why so defensive about it? why is it that white people get so defensive about this? i'm not saying that life isn't hard. middle class white guys that are working hard to do what they can and they#o look and they go i'm not getting any privilege. that's not what we're talking÷g about. what we're talking about is a group of people that were brought here. they didn't choose to immigrate here to get that better life. and must acknowledge that our countries had a problem with that. >> people acknowledge that are fair minded. but you don't then take that and
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then condemn the modern society. >> do you know what i'll call it, i'll call it this and it's a word i think you'll understand. a factor. it's a factor. >> it's a factor. >> i'll give you the factor. your humanity has moved me. you are like pope francis that has taken the catholic church into an era of acceptance and humanity. you, you bill o'reilly can lead the flock of the fox fearful to a better place. i believe in you. [ding, ding] hey buddy... what can i getcha? 1, 2, 3... redd's apple ale. [ding, ding] redd's apple ale. also in strawberry and green apple. anybody else? you're a parent. we're both busy people. so pick up my new hand prepared $20 family fill up meal. eight pieces of original recipe chicken, two large mashed potatoes and gravy, a large coleslaw, and 4 biscuits. i'll get back to ya. (door squeaking) it's finger lickin' good.
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so good. [applause] don't think, i don't realize i'm not the ideal advocate for the conversation i was having for billyuc -- bill o'reilly. there's others that could do it more surgically but [bleep] it's you been edited on the web. go ahead watch it. here's our show. >> it's third generation born in ng sponsored by comedy central
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tonightly -- everyone's asking, what really happened to sandra bland? and at this point, the police have about as much credibility as taylor swift on black twitter. (laughter) seriously, this story is so depressing, i'm watching the mckinney pool party video just to cheer myself up. (laughter) how do you go from not signaling a lane change to getting locked in a jail cell with a $5,000 bond? that's not a setup for a joke. someone needs to give me a [ bleep ] answer. (cheers and applause) this is "the nightly show." let's do this! (cheers and applause) ♪ (cheers and applause) (audience chanting "larry") (cheers and applause)

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